Jonathan Dobres

Storm’s abilities have always felt like magic, much more so than any other X-Man’s. How, exactly, does she control the weather? The franchise doesn’t even bother with a theory. What are the limits of her powers? Don’t think too hard about it. Little wonder, then, that when X-Men: The Animated Series focuses on Storm, it goes for sword and sorcery settings more often than not. We first got a taste of this in “Savage Land, Strange Heart”, and now we’re going to be introduced to a whole new planet of shirtless, caped doofuses in “Storm Front”.

In this story, Storm tires of Earth’s racist ingrates and falls for an intergalactic hunk who treats her like a goddess. Naturally, he turns out to be a brutal tyrant. We get to see the X-Men react to one of their most stalwart members stepping away, as she falls for what is clearly the wrong guy. The ideas in this story are good, it’s the execution that falters.

Part 1

Season 5, Episode 3. Air date: November 2, 1996.

The X-Men fly to Washington, D.C. to try to stop an unprecedented weather disaster in the making. The episode doesn’t really posit any kind of plan here, but that’s not the point. Mutants are being blamed for the hurricane, and if you think that’s cartoony kid racism, you’re too young to remember the likes of Pat Robertson. Storm is especially hard hit by the freaky weather, which she cries is, “…not of the Earth!” She flies around D.C. doing her best to return the local weather system to normal, before falling dramatically from the top of the Washington Monument. She is saved by a green-eyed stud in a loincloth, cape, and helm. This is a man who put on this ensemble, looked at himself in the mirror, and thought, “You know what this needs? My largest quiver of arrows.”

This guy is Arkon, the source of the unearthly weather and ruler of the planet Polemachus. Yup, ruler of an entire planet. Arkon is another strangely deep cut into the Marvel catalog. He and Polemachus debuted in a 1970 Avengers story. Think Conan the Barbarian with an Asgardian magical-tech vibe. Polemachus exists in a parallel dimension and is sustained by its planetary rings, which are often affected by events on Earth, hence Arkon’s desire to destroy the Earth in his 1970 debut. The show’s version of this story borrows elements from 1979’s X-Men Annual #3, in which Storm and Cyclops ultimately team up to re-energize Polemachus’s rings, and 1981’s X-Men Annual #5, in which Storm and Arkon express feelings for each other. Arkon and Polemachus haven’t really shown up in the comics since, which should give you some idea of how cool they are, and how truly baffling it was for the show to do a Polemachus story in 1996.

Anyway, Arkon turns off his weather machine and tells Storm that his planet is endangered by weather even worse than what he caused in D.C. She is appalled that Arkon would risk the lives of millions of people just to scout her, and absolutely does not consent to joining him, but in her weakened state he’s able to carry her into a portal anyway. Storm manages to leave behind both her comm badge and one of Arkon’s magical technologically advanced portal-creating beads.

There are some fun character beats as the team is forced to hitch a ride home in some normie’s truck (the Blackbird had to pull an emergency landing) and eventually they accidentally activate the teleportation bead. Upon arriving on Polemachus, they’re beset by both the terrified populus (all in capes and weird helmets, naturally) and a cadre of hovering murderbots. The fight against the bots is not the show’s best work, but it has its moments. Jubilee, of all people, intimidates the angry crowd with her powers, which is a nice change of pace for her. Beast says, “This is not how I would have wished to learn about this new culture!” as he smashes a bot to pieces in self-defense.

They eventually prevail, and Beast sets about trying to triangulate Storm’s location. Jubilee suggests that the only person powerful enough to snatch Storm from a world away probably lives in the giant palace just over yonder, which again, is a fun moment for her (and Beast). Not that it matters, as the team is quickly hit by a teleport ray and sent directly to the palace’s dungeon. Not that it matters, as they quickly fake some infighting to get the guards inside their cell, and escape (presumably; this fight isn’t actually shown). They burst into Arkon’s throne room just as he and Storm are wrapping up the global realignment of the Polemachian climate.

The episode has been breaking up the fights with scenes in Arkon’s throne room. Storm doesn’t love that he abducted her, but faced with a planet imperiled, especially one imperiled by weather, she feels obligated to do the right thing and save lives. Getting in tune with an entire planet takes a lot of time and effort (which rankles Arkon), made more difficult by some kind of interference from a very suspicious glowing pylon at the city center. Arkon insists that this device is essential to planetary security (interesting wording there, my king), and Storm drops it. She’s eventually able to work her magic use her genetically-derived mutant powers to calm the weather across the entire planet, which raises a lot of questions about just how powerful Storm is.

It’s at this point that Cyclops, Wolverine, Beast, and Jubilee bust in to “save” Storm, which entails a brief tussle with Arkon. This enrages Storm, reverting the planet’s weather to its apocalyptic state. Storm calms everyone down and, with Arkon’s support, uses the last of her strength to correct the weather. There’s a notable reaction shot of Wolverine wincing as Arkon escorts her back to the throne so she can save the planet. The message is clear: Storm is trying to do the right thing, and the X-Men are just running around causing harm. “Whoa, guess they don’t need us at all,” says Jubilee.

Arkon is elated with Storm’s miraculous feat. The people adore her. Arkon proposes to her with the words, “Storm, I don’t know how Earth celebrates your incredible deeds, but I’ll tell you, Polemachus will love and worship you, now and forever. And so will I”. And she accepts! Without a doubt the biggest cliffhanger in the show’s entire run.

Now That’s What I Call ’90s: ozone layer mentioned! Polemachus’s aberrant weather is due to the weakening of its planetary ring, which Arkon says, “protects our planet as the ozone layer protects your Earth”. Every ’90s kid remembers being educated about the dangers of the hole in the ozone layer. It’s a real triumph of science education and international cooperation, actually. Ozone depletion was discovered in 1985, along with the attendant risks of increased UV radiation exposure and other effects. By 1996, the world had agreed to ban the production of chlorofluorocarbons, and the ozone layer has been recovering ever since. That I can type “chlorofluorocarbon” from memory is a testament to how effective (and ubiquitous) the educational efforts were. In the ’90s, we worried that the ozone layer might have been damaged beyond repair. Thirty years on, thanks to science and good public policy, we’re instead projecting the complete recovery of the ozone layer by the time I retire.

Stray observations:

• We get to see the Blackbird use that SHIAR CLOAK. Neat!

• It’s fun to see Jubilee taking a more central role for a change, but the way she bosses around Cyclops in the opening scene feels off to me. She calls him “Cyke” a lot.

• On the toilet: Rogue, Gambit, and (of course) Jean.

Part 2

Season 5, Episode 4. Air date: November 9, 1996.

Part 2’s best scene is its very first. The X-Men are in disbelief that one of their own would abandon them, or three out of four them are, anyway. Cyclops isn’t thrilled about it, but maintains that Storm is allowed to make her own choices. This opinion seems like a better fit for Wolverine or even the absent Gambit, but as always, the show puts the worst opinion in Cyclops’s mouth. Jubilee is also basically on board with Storm getting hitched to a space hunk, though as we’ll see, she’s more clear-eyed about the situation than Storm is.

Storm herself cuts into the debate to explain that she is, in fact, thinking clearly. She’s tired of putting her life at risk for a world that continues to hate mutants and, more to the point, she’s been an X-Man since she was a teenager. Hers has been a life of self-control, and of being controlled. This is the first real choice she’s ever had, and from where she’s sitting, it’s an easy one. The people treat her like a goddess (they are literally erecting a giant statue of her outside), a superhunk is in love with her, and surely she’ll revolutionize Polemachian fashion sense (this last part is my own extrapolation).

It’s a pretty compelling argument! Unfortunately, Part 1 already dropped plenty of hints that Arkon is bad news, and the very next scene will make that explicit. We get an inside view of a planning session with his scheming advisors, who helpfully say out loud that the mysterious pylon at the center of town is what caused the weather disruption and what powers the murderbots and agony bracelets. Arkon has been running a totalitarian state with an enslaved underclass, and now that the planet’s weather is back under control, he can invade Polemachus’s sister planet, Belgania, for more forced labor.

I can’t find a single reference to Belgania outside the show, so I don’t think it exists in the comics. In any event, it’s unnecessary. Belgania might as well be another country instead of another planet, and might have worked better that way. Subjugating an entire world is fantasy. Invading another country for slaves is something that actually happened here on Earth, more than once. The vast void of space be damned, Arkon sends out his fleet and brings back Belganian slaves faster than I can round trip to my grocery store.

This story’s biggest misstep is in revealing Arkon as a tyrant to the audience way, way before Storm comes around. There’s something to be said for her being blinded by her high status on Polemachus, overwhelmed by the (mandatory) public adoration and Arkon’s lavish attention (Wolverine mentions that as a child, she was worshipped as a god). But Arkon is such a bad dude. A slave fails to bow to Storm and Arkon activates her agony bracelet. Jubilee is understandably freaked out by the whole thing, and yet Storm continues to make excuses for her fiancé. The Storm of “Slave Island” would have electrocuted Arkon on the spot for such brutality.

While Storm and Jubilee are getting ready for the royal wedding, Cyclops, Wolverine, and Beast are getting very suspicious about all these battleships and caravans of miserable looking people. They eventually find a Belganian interment camp and raise some hell. They confront Arkon at a pre-wedding banquet, where he finally snaps, revealing his true tyrannical nature so overtly that not even Storm can remain in denial. The ensuing fight is decent, and actually lets Cyclops rack up some cool points.

Storm, for her part, flies into a rage, taking Polemachus’s weather with her. Entire buildings collapse under her unrestrained fury. Ultimately, Jubilee pleads with her to calm down for the sake of the planet. It’s a bit of an easy ending, but then again, Jubilee has been by Storm’s side throughout this story, so it’s earned, at least. In the epilogue, Arkon makes one last attempt to persuade Storm to stay, but part of his sales pitch includes the humdinger: “The slaves! What are they to our happiness,” which is a hell of a thing to say to a black woman. Storm responds by blasting apart Arkon’s security pylon, presumably leaving him to be torn apart by a planet’s worth of furious Belganians.

Overall, a mixed bag of an episode. I think it’s a decent spotlight for Storm (finally), and very effectively elevates her relationship with Jubilee. Polemachus is just such a goofy setting, a land of crazy helmets and perpetually shirtless guys in capes. Making Arkon such an obvious villain was a mistake. This story might have worked better if Arkon was better at playing dumb, keeping the nastiest parts of his society out of Storm’s sight and saving the reveal of his true colors for the final act.

Stray observations:

• On the toilet: Rogue, Gambit, and Jean (as before), plus Professor Xavier, who only briefly appeared in Part 1.