Jonathan Dobres

When I started this review series, I didn’t think it would take two years to complete, and I didn’t think I would write a little over 78,000 words. If I packed all the reviews into a book, it’d be about the same length as Me Talk Pretty One Day or The Anthropocene Reviewed (to name two personal favorites). I don’t know if that’s an accomplishment, but it sure feels like one, and if watching this old show has taught me anything, it’s that the feel of the thing matters.¹

The Origin Story

I wrote this series for a lot of reasons, but the main one is this. Two years ago, I was finally emerging from a lengthy period of intense anxiety. Early on, my therapist and I had this exchange:

Therapist: So, what would you be doing if you weren’t worried all the time?

Me: I don’t understand what you’re asking.

Therapist: Well, worrying takes a lot of time and energy. If you weren’t sitting around worrying, what would you be doing instead?

My anxiety was so habitual that it seemed like background music. It hadn’t occurred to me that although being anxious was a state I experienced, it was also an activity I kept doing. Had I considered maybe doing other things?

It was around this time that X-Men ‘97 debuted on Disney Plus, delivering Marvel’s best work in years, shockingly good. It was this impossible thing, a high quality continuation of the show I loved as a kid, updated for its now middle-aged audience. It did exactly what Disney intended. It filled me with the same excitement I used to feel on Saturday mornings. The presentation was definitely more adult, but I felt like a kid again.

So, there I was in need of a hobby. Why not revisit this show I used to love? Why not go deep, and review the entire original series? That’ll fill some time, right?

Two years later, I’d say yes, this project managed to fill some time. It was a fun creative challenge. Some episodes were difficult to review (“Nightcrawler”), while other reviews practically wrote themselves (“Mojovision”). Reviewing these episodes in detail often uncovered fun historical details (Dazzler was Marvel’s attempt to cash in on an extremely specific cultural moment, for example), or changed my initial opinion of a story (the version of Sam Guthrie in “Hidden Agendas” is kind of adorable). Sitting on the other side of the whole endeavor, I can honestly say that I know a lot more about X-Men, and yes, I still love it.

I even made a couple of new internet friends along the way. If you enjoyed reading my reviews, I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know. Before I get into some final thoughts on X-Men: The Animated Series, I’ll state for the record that my all-time favorite episode is season 1’s “Captive Hearts”, followed by “Nightcrawler”, followed by Part 1 of “Sanctuary”.

My favorites aside, most episodes of the show have at least a little something going for them. But if you’re looking for a short list of the essential episodes, that’s the final section of this post.

X-Men, Re-Examined

In my first review, I said, “I’ll try to keep these short,” a promise I broke immediately and consistently. I decided early on that I wanted these reviews to feel like you were watching the show along with me, which meant none of them would be short. It was a fun challenge (usually) to blend comic book history, commentary, and criticism into each review. Above all, I tried to avoid the trap of simply regurgitating the plot, though I don’t think I always succeeded. Seventy-eight thousand words later, I’m mostly happy with how things turned out.

When thinking about the series as a whole, it’s important to remember that X-Men: The Animated Series was part of a new wave of early-90s animated programming. The Saturday morning hits of the 1980s were harmless affairs designed to sell toys, but ’90s entries like X-Men, Batman, and Gargoyles had bigger ambitions. They still had to sell toys, sure, but these were shows that recognized that a young audience did not mean a stupid audience. X-Men was among the first TV shows to prove that you could make something “for kids” that still had drama, a point of view, and even week-to-week continuity, and audiences would love it. I sure did. After years of light cereal-selling shows like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and The Super Mario Bros. Super Show, watching X-Men felt like, to borrow a phrase from the commercials, a complete breakfast.

I was a little afraid that revisiting the show would be like revisiting one’s old school, everything smaller than I’d remembered. I’m pleased to say that thirty years on, the show holds up pretty well. At its best, X-Men still thrills. Episodes like “Captive Hearts”, “Obsession”, and “Nightcrawler” are lessons in how much can be accomplished in a mere twenty minutes, while larger stories like “Time Fugitives”, “The Dark Phoenix”, and “The Phalanx Covenant” defined epic for a whole generation of nerds.

That said, it’s far from a perfect run. Production problems and a smaller budget kneecap it across every season, which I think prevented X-Men from achieving the high regard of contemporaries like Batman, which got a lot more money, little network interference, and ultimately won a few Emmys. I’m disappointed to realize that the series peaks with season 1, which has the clearest thesis, strongest characterizations, and few wasted opportunities. Season 2 stumbles due to its commitment to the boring Savage Land. Season 3 gets things back on track, tackling some of the franchise’s classic stories. Season 4 is big and scattered, but not without its highlights. Season 5, unfortunately, is running on fumes. I’d still recommend the show today, though I’d probably suggest a short list of episodes to watch (see below).

There are nine core X-Men on this show, plus recurring guests like Magneto, Bishop, Nightcrawler (yay), and Cable (ugh). The writers obviously had trouble juggling them all. I didn’t keep track of character appearances very closely, other than Wolverine, who misses just five episodes across the entire series. He gets more attention than any other character, and it’s a real stroke of luck that they found Cal Dodd for the role. He keeps Wolverine feeling appealing across his many, many appearances, at least until entries like “Lotus and the Steel” finally start to overexpose him. I’d still rank him below Lenore Zann (Rogue) and George Buza (Beast), who both make their characters feel believable, almost real. Every time I wrote the name “Beast” in a review, I found myself almost reflexively following it with a “Hank” or “Dr. McCoy”.

The character imbalance is particularly obvious when you consider the show’s women. Despite X-Men’s long history of interesting, even iconic women, it’s very apparent that the TV show was conceived as something for boys. Outside of season 1, it’s a real sausage party. Storm never gets a better spotlight than “Captive Hearts”. Rogue is at her most vibrant when flirting with Gambit, something that mostly happens in season 1. Jubilee opens the series but then spends all of her time as a background player. Jean Grey may dominate season 3 thanks to the Phoenix Sagas, but after that she practically vanishes from the show. Nightcrawler, who isn’t even in the main cast, nearly ties her for appearances in season 4. The X-Women deserved better than this, and the show would have been stronger if it treated its ladies as well as it treated the guys. Jubilee clearly idolizes Storm, once proclaiming herself the “Princess of Pyrotechnics”, just as Storm calls herself “Mistress of the Elements”. Storm putting on a brave face for Jubilee, even when she was at her most vulnerable, has stuck with me ever since “Slave Island”. I would have loved to see an episode that focused on their relationship and gave it its due.

But enough about where X-Men fell short. Here’s what I think makes for a good episode:

1. Go big or go home. This is a universe where people wear bright, skintight uniforms while shooting laser beams out of their faces. It is not a place for subtlety, as a general rule. Give us big action. Killgrave scheming to do construction without a permit feels lame. Storm blowing apart a dam to completely destroy her soon-to-be-former oppressors feels incredible. Give us big feelings, too! “The Dark Phoenix” doesn’t really work without Cyclops and Jean’s relationship at its center.² “Obsession” is a delightful half hour because Apocalypse and Archangel spend most of it chewing the scenery to pieces (also, Gambit hits Apocalypse in the face with a jet). “Bloodlines” would be just another episode where a dam explodes, were it not for the high drama between Nightcrawler and Mystique.
2. It’s an ensemble. As I wrote two years ago, one of the enduring appeals of X-Men is that it has a hero for every taste. Forthright good guy with an equally forthright power? Cyclops. A warrior queen with a suitably regal bearing? Storm. Hot liar? Gambit. Short king with anger issues and a heart of gold? Wolverine. I could go on (and indeed, I have). These characters work best when they work together. The show’s solo episodes, like “Secrets, Not Long Buried”, “X-Ternally Yours”, and “Lotus and the Steel” are invariably some of its weakest outings. Wolverine is cool, but he gets much more interesting when he bristles against Xavier or gets protective around Jubilee.
3. These are people with superpowers. Related to “go big or go home”, the worst thing an episode of X-Men can be is boring, and that often happens because the show forgets that its characters are superheroes with fabulous abilities. “A Deal with the Devil” is the perfect example of this: an episode that features Storm, Wolverine, Beast, and Rogue, but only remembers to use Rogue’s powers, briefly. At its worst, the show just resorts to saving the universe via big men with rifles. The show is always better when the people with superpowers use them. That can be as big as Magneto plunging his personal space station into the ocean or as simple as Nightcrawler scampering across the ceiling alongside a flying Rogue.
4. Have a point, or at least a point of view. The best episodes of X-Men have something to say. Seasons 1 and 2 have a lot to say about bigotry and acceptance, courtesy of Gyrich and the Friends of Humanity. Graydon Creed Jr.’s anti-mutant diatribes in “Time Fugitives” are still hard to watch thirty years later (complimentary), because they sound so much like actual, real-world racism. Even a comparatively crazy episode like “Obsession” is elevated because it’s saying something about free will, and how abuse constrains it. Conversely, “One Man’s Worth” fails to land because it’s an alternate timeline story that forgets to illustrate why Charles Xavier actually matters to the timeline. Not every episode needs to make a big important point about the human condition, but more of them should try.
5. Trust the audience. Two years on, I’m still thinking about that short, quiet scene between Rogue and Gambit in “The Cure”, the one where Gambit flirts with her and it backfires on him, pushing her away (all the way to Scotland, in fact). It’s a surprisingly adult moment for a Saturday morning cartoon, and in truth, not something the show would often attempt. But it’s proof that its audience can handle topics with some seriousness, some emotional weight. “Nightcrawler” features frank discussions about religious faith and why bad things happen to good people, and it’s one of the series’s best episodes! On a franchise like X-Men, you can trust that the audience knows the characters, and you don’t have to waste time with excessive exposition. Or you can at least trust twelve year-olds to fill in the blanks on their own (yes, I’m still mad that Gambit’s only solo episode was so bogged down in exposition about his backstory).

The Short List

If you’d like to watch X-Men: The Animated Series, but stick to its best or most important stories, here’s how to do that.

• Season 1. Episode for episode, this is the show’s best season, and you’ll want to watch most of it. You can skip “Enter Magneto” (the next episode, “Deadly Reunions”, is a much better Magneto episode). You can also skip “Cold Vengeance” (Wolverine vs. Sabretooth) and “Come the Apocalypse” (skipping this will leave Apocalypse’s introduction at the end of “The Cure” as a bit of a cliffhanger, but that works better, honestly). If you’re pressed for time, you can also skip “The Unstoppable Juggernaut”, but Colossus is adorable, I promise.
• Season 2. A lot of season 2 is skippable, alas. You should watch “Till Death Do Us Part”, “Time Fugitives”, “Beauty & the Beast”, and “Reunion” (not the show’s best work, but important to the story). For extra credit, check out Peter Wildman’s completely insane vocal performance in “Mojovision”, and if you want a little more Colossus (as a treat), there’s “Red Dawn”.
• Season 3. This one’s all about The Phoenix and its Sagas. Watch “Out of the Past” (also the best the show ever looked), “The Phoenix Saga” (sorry in advance about the Starjammers), “Obsession”, and “The Dark Phoenix”. For extra credit, watch “Orphan’s End” just for Alison Sealy-Smith’s iconic line reading about the monorail. You might also enjoy “Cold Comfort”, which has a lot of team drama and is one of Jubilee’s only feature episodes.
• Season 4. Season 4 is sprawling. Watch “The Juggernaut Returns”, “Sanctuary”, “Courage”, “Nightcrawler”, “Bloodlines”, and “Beyond Good and Evil” (or at least its first two episodes). If you want more, I’d throw in “Secrets, Not Long Buried” as an oddly charming (if basic) episode, and although I think “One Man’s Worth” generally doesn’t work well, it’s very ambitious.
• Season 5. Mostly garbage, I’m sorry to say. It’s a shame that the show goes out on such a low. But “The Phalanx Covenant” is one of the series’s best stories, full stop. “Old Soldiers” is a fun Wolverine/Captain America team-up that’s worth twenty minutes of your time. For extra credit, watch “Graduation Day” just to close out the series properly.