Jonathan Dobres

Season 3, Episode 9. Air date: September 24, 1994

We’re picking up with Archangel, whom we haven’t seen since season 1’s “Come the Apocalypse”. Given the show’s previous handling of Archangel and Apocalypse, I wasn’t expecting much, but this one delivers.

Archangel is searching desperately for a way to destroy the nigh invulnerable Apocalypse, throwing the Worthington money at a team of archeologists to unearth relics that might give some clue as to the big guy’s weakness. After months (years?) of searching, one researcher walks in the door with an ancient Chinese scroll depicting a weak point on the back of Apocalypse’s neck (if you think that’s a little convenient, hold that thought).

Archangel immediately rushes off to find Apocalypse and fight him. Given that we’ve seen Apocalypse shrug off every form of attack and singlehandedly vaporize the entirety of the X-Men in a parallel timeline, it’s a categorically insane fight to pick, but Archangel is flat-out nuts. Stephen Ouimette delivers every line like Archangel is on the verge of a nervous breakdown, which he is!

Meanwhile, the X-Men are busy incorporating Shi’ar technology into their war room, which gives them a good old fashioned Trouble Alert¹ about a mile-long spaceship cloaked near Manhattan.

Computer: [Apocalypse’s ship] is more than a mile long, and disappears soon after detection.

Cyclops: How do you hide something a mile long?

Gambit: Who knows. Deep pockets?

This sits somewhere between a very stupid Kid Joke and an incredibly dirty Adult Joke, and I love it.

The fight indeed goes poorly for Archangel. Apocalypse’s opening line of the episode is a malevolent cackle, followed by, “Looking for me, my prodigal son?” as he looms next to the Statue of Liberty. Apocalypse’s main appeal is the egomaniacal monologuing, and the writers gave him some top-tier camp villain lines this time around. John Colicos does great work breathing life into them. This oh-so brief snippet of a fight ends with Apocalypse batting away Archangel like a fly, in sync with a crack of lightning that transitions us over to the X-Mansion (a very nice touch).

The X-Men arrive in time to stop Apocalypse from capturing Archangel, then head back to the mansion and start formulating a plan. Cyclops, Beast, and Wolverine know they can’t fight Apocalypse head on, so they reason through a careful plan that could get them into Apocalypse’s ship and do some damage. Rogue, who absorbed a chunk of Archangel’s mind in “Come the Apocalypse”, feels tremendous empathy for him, and reluctantly follows him on his own unhinged revenge quest. Gambit, brooding and jealous of the Rogue/Archangel rapport, abruptly disappears to go do his own thing. The episode sets up all of this within its first eight minutes, a truly impressive feat. It probably took me longer to write this paragraph.

Team Cautious Planning arrives at Apocalypse’s hidden ship. Beast, delighted to find that the ship is in fact sentient, simply asks to be let aboard, and they’re in. Beast quickly sets about trying to understand the ship, with an assist from some of his new Shi’ar technology (sold separately). It’s clear that, although the ship is under Apocalypse’s control, it’s something of an unwilling participant in his schemes, just like all of Apocalypse’s minions. After Beast chats up the ship (yes, they are into each other), he’s able to set a trap that he thinks might contain Apocalypse. This triggers a failsafe that nearly kills the team, but the ship gives them enough help to get around it.

Meanwhile, Archangel and Rogue are flying around, spoiling for a second fight with Apocalypse. Archangel may not be a match for Apocalypse physically, but he’s the only other character on his dramatic level. Rogue is doing what she can to bring him back down to Earth, but:

Archangel: Pledge yourself to me, Rogue.

Rogue: Sure…I–

Archangel: There can be no hesitation, no doubt!

Rogue: Warren…I–

Archangel: Do you pledge me your heart and soul???

Rogue: Very hesitantly …Yes–

Suddenly, Warren looks off into the distance, spotting Apocalypse.

Archangel: HE RISES!

A little later, Archangel will scream, “Come to me, demon, and give me your tender back, FOR THE TIME OF YOUR JUDGMENT HAS ARRIVED!” But again, nothing can stand against Apocalypse. He handles both Rogue and Archangel easily, then taunts them to lure them back to his ship. This was all part of his plan, naturally, as he had masqueraded as the researcher with the Chinese scroll, all to tempt Archangel out into the open.

All of this brings us to the big confrontation, with all parties having converged on the ship. Apocalypse ends up in Beast’s trap, but keeps goading Archangel. He commands the ship to override the trap (much to the ship’s displeasure) and pronounces an all-time banger of a line: “I am the rocks of the eternal shore. Crash against me and be broken,” at which point Gambit slams a small fighter jet into the guy as part of his dramatic entrance. God, this is a fun one.

The remainder of the fight is pretty creative, as a standard melee against the invincible Apocalypse escalates into a tug of war between him and Beast, both trying to use the ship against each other while the remaining X-Men are caught in the middle of its increasingly haywire environment. Apocalypse commands parts of the ship to reconfigure and crush the X-Men, while Beast tries to trap Apocalypse again and help the ship break free of Apocalypse’s control. Ultimately it’s a draw, as Apocalypse ejects himself ala Team Rocket and Beast manages to rescue a small tablet containing part of the ship’s intelligence.

Back in the Blackbird, the ship’s faltering voice bids a heartbroken Beast farewell. Archangel rants about his need to destroy Apocalypse, leaving the X-Men behind in mid-flight.

This is a really strong episode. On top of the ridiculous high camp that Archangel and Apocalypse give us, the team dynamics are excellent. Everyone gets some time to do cool stuff (except Cyclops, of course). Beast leads the good guys on this one, and his all too brief relationship with the ship is a real highlight.

Hanging over all of it is the concept of enslavement. Apocalypse always seeks to utterly dominate both his enemies and his servants. “There exists no freedom from me. There is only freedom through me,” he says. It’s the same for the ship, which gets its first taste of free will thanks to Hank McCoy. And of course, Archangel’s obsession (say the title!) with Apocalypse enslaves him in its own way. The episode isn’t saying anything especially profound with these ideas, but it’s a nod toward saying just a little more with this kids’ cartoon that really elevates the story.

Stray observations:

• As the ship begins to cooperate with Beast and attacks Apocalypse, he bellows, “Traitorous vessel!!!” Decidedly less imposing than, “Serve me, and you will know oblivion’s eternal bliss,” but too funny not too mention.

• There are some nice touches in this episode. The transition between Apocalypse swatting Archangel like a fly and the crack of lightning at the X-Mansion, and some depth of field animation tricks as Gambit plays with a card while observing Rogue and Archangel, to name two.

• Warren is lucky that his infirmary room included a skylight for him to dramatically fly out of.

• The X-Men have started using Shi’ar technology, without which they’d never be able to locate Apocalypse’s ship or decipher its systems, which as near as I can tell is the only in-season continuity here. There’s no mention of Jean, and the episode doesn’t even reference Cyclops’s time away in the last episode.

• On the toilet: Jubilee and Storm.